PDX/PHX Treasures

My roommate introduced me to a new addiction: the best of craigslist. I'm not sure who sifts through every ad posted on the site, but somehow the best of them are saved and added to the "best of" folder. It's totally brill and I've wasted more than a couple hours laughing, blushing, pondering and/or gasping. I've found posts on both the Portland and Phoenix pages that I'd like to share with you.

1. From Phoenix:

WANTED: free ox
Date: 2004-10-29, 10:39AM MST

Hello. I would like an ox. I need a pet to keep away burglars and to keep the neighborhood kids off my lawn. I figure an ox should do the trick. If anyone has an extra ox please let me know. Preferably one that looks like this:



2. From Portland

Slugs for lease
Date: 2008-05-29, 8:52PM PDT

I have some banana slugs I will lease out for $1.00 per day.
You just come catch them, and keep sliding dollar bills under my front door.
I also have some worms availabe for .50 daily, and a few spiders as well.
I am trying to save up for a flat screen TV.
Thank you so much in advance.



3. Another from Portland

Clean Out My Mini-Fridge for $25
Date: 2007-10-12, 9:39PM PDT

Some mystery sauce spilled in my fridge one day, and I didn't feel like cleaning it up. Several hours later, I went on vacation for a couple weeks, giving the sauce time to ferment and congeal into a colorful, ominously pulsating substance with an odor I won't attempt to describe here.

This was half a year ago. The sauce is still there, and the intensity of its fragrance is almost overpowering. When I absolutely have to retrieve something from the fridge, I do it as quickly as possible, lest the sauce begin growling at me, or worse.

Please. Help me. I can't deal with this alone.

The fridge isn't big- 3.5'x2.5'x2.5', at most. It will probably take less than 45 minutes to clean.

Anyone?